Critical Species Theory -CST

Note to bipeds–we were here first!

Are you a creationist or an evolutionist? It doesn’t matter. Both views have quadrupeds here before humans.

The Biblical account of creation has God creating animals BEFORE humans. Evolutionary theory holds that we developed BEFORE humans did.

So what’s with the human privilege? I am specifically addressing it relative to one issue–going for a ride in the car.

It is very clear that going for a ride is my favorite thing to do in the whole world. However, can I go when I want? No! I have to wait for the Banana to determine when he wants to go and whether or not he wants to invite me along.

If I had a driver’s license I could go whenever I want. Yet, I am denied. I know, you are going to use that thumb thing. Well it won’t work this time.

It is time to end this practice of denying driving privileges to four-legged creatures–specifically canines!

Check out this link for an SNL documentary on Toonces the driving cat. Of course, it always ends in disaster but what can you expect from a cat? A dog would give you a different outcome.

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